Prisoner of War

In this regression I was a Japanese Soldier. I'm not going to talk to much about it right now, I think this one is better to just jump right into. I was male in my early twenties.

I was on a boat, looking out over the water. Suddenly I heard a commotion behind me. I recognised the voice and turned around. It was my brother. He was shouting at the deck hands and brandishing his sword. Demanding to be let onboard. I nodded to the workers and they let him through. He stormed up to me he was angry at me. I tried to stay calm, I loved my brother, we had fought side by side for years now and I owed my life to him many times over. I knew this arguement was coming but I had hoped to avoid it none the less.

He called me a coward and that hurt, it felt like he had reached inside me and ripped my heart out. He was yelling things at me like how I had shamed my family, betrayed my village. I didn't know what to say to him so I kept quiet. I know any words I uttered would only hurt him further. Apologising would have been for my benefit and would bring no comfort to him. He started pushing me, hoping to get a reaction I'd guess. It hurt me almost more than I could bear to see the disappointment in his face but I couldn't give him what he wanted. He wanted me to stay and fight, to be a proper man and protect our village, but I was tired of it all. I was tired of the hatred and the bloodshed. I wanted to be a monk. I wanted to travel the world and write down our legends, I wanted to learn and teach. I was never made to be a soldier and we both knew that deep down.

I looked at him again and he looked panicked. I looked around to see why he was so afraid, the boat was moving. He was trapped onboard. He began shouting again at anyone he could find. I knew why he was scared. People would think he was a deserter too. They would think that he was a coward and run away just like I had. He would be a shame on our family just like I was. This isn't what I wanted. I knew how hard it was to leave everything behind but I had made my choice. This choice was being forced on him and it wasn't right. I went to him, wanting to comfort him in some way. I touched his shoulder and he spun on me. He looked at me and froze. His hand was still on the handle of his blade. Except it was almost touching my tunic. His blade had pierced me all the way through. I fell onto the deck of the boat. It took me a long time to die and all the time My brother stayed with me crying. I was at peace when death finally came.

After this one I spent a long time wondering about my then brother. What happened to him, did he ever make it home. Did he live the rest of his life as a nomad or had he choosen the path that I had wanted. A lot of times in my life now I feel responsible for the choices people make and I think a lot of that comes from this life. I tend to take responsibility for people in a similiar way to which my brother took responsibility for me. I wasn't a coward in this life. I wasn't afraid to fight like he thought, I just wanted another life. I calmer and more peaceful life. One of the more interesting things I learned from this regression is that I didn't need to speak Japanese. I just knew what we were talking about, almost as if it had been translated into English. It kinda makes sense if you think about it.